Dat's So Funny Sir!

After the terrible sickness happened and being hospitalized, the doc and everyone said, "Don't get too tired, okay? Eat more, sleep more."  But according to my pap and mah, don't let your sickness prevent you from being active. Which means, they keep told me to do this and that, but when I'm having fun a little in my spare time, they told me to sleep, which is so annoying. Oh come on! I'm playing the guitar, talking to my friends I haven't talked to for a while on my lappie and my tab, that aren't too tiring, no need to worry I'll be staying on my bed. But you said it was just a waste of time and you told me I better to sleep, well.. not in my spare time!

Why don't you told me to sleep when : you forced me to wake up in early morning when I'm still supposed to be sleeping, you told me to clean the house, do the chores like sweep the floors, watering the plants, washing dishes in my low condition.

You guys ever told me not to get too much tired, go get some sleep, but you keep on telling me to do things I actually forbidden to do, but since you're asking... I'll do.

That's so funny how you angry to me because I do my stuff which aren't so much tiring, but you also angry to me if I don't do things you told me to do. Dat's so funny Sir... and keep blaming on me if I got sick again eh? Thank you!


Ramadan is almost over... Eid is almost come. The day after tomorrow, me and my big family will be celebrating the Eid or famously called 'Lebaran' in bahasa Indonesia. You've no idea how messed up my Ramadan this year. We're all actually obligated to fasting for a month, but my sickness messing up my fasting. All of those injected IV, blood tests, yucky hospital foods, and bunch of medicines that I have to consume all day keeping me from doing Ramadan fasting. It was the most 2 miserable weeks I've had in my life.

As Eid will be coming the day after tomorrow, me and my family will planned to clean the house because in Eid, the neighbors and the relatives will be coming continually for Lebaran hospitality. We usually ask for other's apology for what we've done this year. What I love the most of Lebaran is I will get some money from relatives and neighbors who visit us. That is something I could get as long as I'm unmarried and unemployed. Come to mama money! Yeay!

Eid is almost coming, and we're all excited about it. I can't wait for that.

Disturbing Thoughts

Lately I've been thinking... a lot. Been thinking about random things, that kind of disturbing me.
I'm thinking.....

Lately I was hospitalized and got 2 bags of blood transfusion, and yesterday I had my first check-up at the hospital and the nurse said my blood pressure is low (still), Oh-My-God! What's happening to me? Where did all the blood transfusion go? Did some random invisible vampires bit me in the middle of the night and suck up all the blood transfusion? God, I can't believe it.... I must be fine already. The nurse also said that I looked pale and she asked if I'm having cold sweat, and I said yes because I do. Then she gave me strange look, I was like... "what the hell is wrong with me?" and then I went to see the doctor she said I'm gonna have an endoscopy test the day after tomorrow. Well, I'm relieved at least she's gonna check out what's going on with me. I believed soon I'm gonna be healed, and gonna be a fully human again. Soon.

I can't really describe what I exactly feel inside. Empty, sorrow, lost, disappointed, confused, I don't know the rest feelings. I've been talking to someone I know, and she got me almost crying but I can't let it out... You know the feeling when you're really sad, you want to cry, you want to scream out loud, but all you can do is just sit there stare at the blank innocent wall. I wonder how my mind works, somehow I wanna clean it up from things I don't want to remember in mind, kick up some useless negative thoughts about people who simply don't even exist in my life anymore. I need.... sometime to myself alone, listening to music that would calm my soul.

I doubt that I'm a human... I doubt that I have a heart, because mine had been stolen for years.
I doubt what people say, I doubt it all....

Anemia Got Me Hospitalized

I have this anemia for years actually, but just now it turned so bad and sent me to the hospital. It was 10th of July in the middle of the night, I was sent to the hospital emergency room by my parents. I was like losing myself because I was trembling so much and also had a fever for like 40 degree Celsius. Three days was enough to give me so much pain, mostly on my wrist, the nurse injected needle so many times on my wrist. "I'm sorry, I can't find your vein" she said, and she keep injecting me all over my wrist. Worst, she injected my artery! And it was hurt so bad! Feels like 'oh shit! I wanna kill you now for doing that!', and you know what, she failed! Till now it leaves bruise on my left wrist around my artery, it colored blue and somehow purple, and it still hurts. So, she gave up and ended up calling her senior. I was still crying and terrified when the senior nurse came, "It'll be fine honey." she said, I bit my lips and held on my mum's hand even tighter than before. Few seconds later, I didn't feel anything, and voila, the needle was injected, and I was like, "oh..." She was right, it didn't hurt, I looked at her and she was smirking and left the room.

This is my first IV ever. Look at the band aid,
so messy. This one is the most painful.
Three days I got so much pain, yucky plain foods, and boring sight from the window. Three days I only got my medicines by injection, I also got 2 bags of blood transfusion since my hemoglobin was so low like 8,5 of 12. That's why I got that blood transfusion. Enough said, I got all the pain while I was there.

The messy painful IV finally
turned into...


Some people went visit me, bringing some foods, or fruits, or cakes. That's the only good side of being hospitalized. Massive thanks to my mum who were there looked after me for 24/7. She's fasting but she never stop doing anything for me while I was there. But, she turns out like a fierce security when I got back home. "Shut your laptop now and go to sleep." , "You spend too much time on your tab! Go to sleep!" , "Drink your medicine and go to sleep! Don't you remember how painful it was when you were hospitalized?" See? She could be an angel and a fierce security sometimes.

Sunday, July 13th. The nurse said I might be go home because my hemoglobin was 10 of 12, so she said it was fine already for me. I'm so glad that I could be home again. Finally, no more antibiotic injection through my vein, no more blood transfusion, no more yucky foods. Back again to normal life, with less internet surfing, chatting and stuff. Lately, just bed, TV, foods, honey, medicines, mp3, and guitar somehow. I only allowed to touch laptop when my dad isn't really watching or when he's not around. But the warning from my mum just like a morning alarm, ringing every 5 mins, and how to snooze it? Just say, "Just a moment... I need to do this..." if it's ringing again, just make another excuses, as if it's important for me. But now, I feel my back hurt, so I guess it is my body warns me to really shut the laptop off now. Okay... Last but not least, there are few more photos below. Check it out. I'm off!

uhm.. I guess I rotated it before uploaded it..
But I don't know why it won't works!
Anyway, that was the view from my window.

Just another view from the window.
(I rotated it, I swear! But it won't work
This is my mum, she helping me putting on my blanket.

The IV needle was removed, I'm ready to go home. Yay!

And this is the bruise I told you about.
I took a pic of it just now.

Happy Birthday Bunny Girl!

Remember the girl called Arini? Well today she’s turning 18! Congrats baby girl! You’re growing older! I feel bad because I didn’t buy you any good stuff for her present. I made a present on my own from useless stuffs instead, I call it memory map. I really don’t know what to do and what to make for a birthday present. After a long long time thinking, I finally remember that we love to take loads of selfies, so I decided to make a kind of scrapbook but not really a book, it’s more like map though. A map full of pictures that taken by ourselves or others, of ourselves or with the others. It’s not so much, but I hope you could remember me, our friends, and the time we’ve had and we’ve spent together.
I wish you the best in every way, I thanked God for letting me know such a person whose kind, not so caring, honest, annoying, funny and loyal like you. Thanks for being the second family in Malang. You know, you can count on me because I can count on you, and that’s what friends are for. Happy turning older girl! And thanks for the B’day lunch treat.


Random Close Friends : Nana

(Agrippina Putri Kangagung)

I admit it, she's the coolest girl I've ever met. Her face is kinda looking fierce, but on the other hand, she has a really soft kind heart. Her name is Nana, she was born in a beautiful island called Bali. It's awkward when I asked her does she come from, and she said Bali, and then I asked her to speak some Balinese words, and she refused it because she can't speak Balinese. She's half Chinese half Indonesian, but she looks 99% Chinese. She always angry when I talk or mention about her Chinese race, I'm not racist, I love Chinese race instead. But she thinks that it isn't cool for me to talk about it, and I don't wanna look for any trouble, so I stay away from that subject.

Nana, what can I say about her? Hmm... she loves reading manga, and she loves Korean boyband called EXO  if I'm not mistaken. As you know before, I can't get along with people who like K-pop, but this time it changed. I guess, nowadays I'm surrounded by K-pop lovers include Nana, but so far we can get along. We have so many differences, we don't even have something in common between us, our characters are different, she's young and I'm old (always). So, why am I getting closer with her? That's because we're partner in crime. We're not that bad, we sometimes just committed to do something normal kids don't do. And, Nana is a loyal friend, she has interesting thoughts, and she's a good listener. Nana, she loves to dressed in a boyish style, I've never seen her wearing any girly outfits. But that what makes her look cool. she may looked fierce and cold but deep inside if you knew her better, she's actually a sweet, kind hearted girl.

I don't remember when did the first time we get to know each other better and started to hanging out. All I can remember was the first time she bullied me physically, well not really bullying, but more like torturing. Yea, she loves to tickle on me till I feel my belly become so numb and I started to cry. Man, that was the hardest time in my life dealing with that girl. But now on 2nd semester, seem like we get along and we often hanging out together. Time by time, I start to know who Nana is. And if me, Nana and Arin get together, we're the best partner in crime.

We're such a perfect partner in crime.


Random Close Friends : Sisca

(Sisca Handayani Simamora)

This girl is actually has a Batak blood in her you can see that from her family name. But she grown up in the land of Java, near the state's Capital of Indonesia, yea... she has been raised in the metropolitan city, Tangerang. But I don't see her act such an arrogant girl like any other guys from big cities. She's a cool girl with the earphones on all the time, but she truly is a perky girl in a specific time I can tell. She told me that she's a singer for a church choir in her hometown, and now she joined the University choir

Well, I don’t really remember how and when we first met or talked, but all I can remember we were getting closer since we’re destined to be a group on study program orientation day. After that day we found some things in common, like, we love to sing, she’s a singer of the University choir and I’m a singer of the faculty choir, we’re soprano, but the different is she's a pro singer and I'm just an amateur singer. We love to dance too, that’s why we join the Chinese dance club together, and then we kinda have same sense of humor, and we both enjoy to be weird or freak as long as the timing is perfect. Lately I found out that she loves to taking selfies like I and Arin do! If we three are being together, my photo gallery will be filled  with our selfies. I don't know, it's like we're never get boring of that. Is that disease? I don't know...  

Sisca, her name is Sisca, but most of people spell it with ‘K’ instead of ‘C’ so it would be Siska, and she hates it so much when people write her name wrong like that. She’s a good girl I could say, she always sitting on the front row seats in the class, what a smartass. While me, Arin, and Nana, we much prefer to sitting in the back, since Arin loves to take a nap during the class, Nana loves to draw, while me, I can do all of them, you know… random. But Sisca, her eyes always straight to the lecturer and her right hand is always ready to write anything the lecturer said. Once, I ever borrowed her book, and oh! There are too many information there! I can even barely read her handwriting since she writes real fast like a doctor. She really deserves an A+ in every subject, me think. Sisca and I also love to have conversation in Mandarin, though our vocabularies aren’t so many and our grammar is so messy sometimes but we just love to practice it, especially when we wanted to say something secret in public, lol! Sisca and I apparently love to make jokes about mostly anything. But when it comes to the serious moment, we could shed a tear together, what an emotional girls. We love to act crazy when we see cool boys around. I just can’t hold my laughter when I’m with her. 

One day, she was about to have a choir concert and Chinese dance performing on the same day, and she supposed not to laugh or even speak. The day before her show, we were rehearsing our Chinese dance for tomorrow’s show, and then she stayed in my boarding house because it was too late for her to come back to her boarding house. We already planned and vowed to ourselves to directly go to sleep once we arrived in my room. But man… it’s just so hard not to talk and laugh. And yea… we broke our own promise…. In fact, we laughed out loud till midnight. I feel bad for letting her stayed a night in my place a day before her choir concert, I worried about her voice but she wasn’t really worried so much about it. Finally, I insisted her to sleep because I don’t want her to ruin her own concert lol. Naah, that’s all because we both need to save our energy for we would have 2 upcoming events tomorrow. At last, the next day in the afternoon we’ve done the Chinese dance performing practically well, and after that she rushed to go to another place to prepare her concert which will be held few hours ahead. I was there in her choir concert, and she really nailed it. She had such an everlasting stamina. Thumbs up for you girl.

I’m happy and feeling grateful to meet and know a person like Sisca, I learn so much from her. FYI, she’s younger than me one year. But her mind and her experiences are quite much, too much to mention. I hope we could be friends till we both grow old, and we could still laugh together.

This is us at the masquerade party 

Chinese dance performing at Ma Chung University

I told you, we love being weird together..

After Sisca's performing at University choir concert

That's her on the stage

That's me after performing on faculty choir concert.
From left, Anasya, me, Sisi, and Sisca

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